In the past two weeks, I haven’t stepped foot in a gym. This might not sound like a big deal or something impactful enough to write a blog post about but it is. I decided not to sign up at a gym after finally squeezing my way out of an overpriced membership at Equinox because I felt as though I had the experience with working out and the drive to get myself moving without spending money each month for a facility. I mentally committed myself to Sunday strolls after work, runs in the morning, self-practiced yoga in my room and maybe once a month splurging on a spinning or yoga sculpt class.
So the reason these past two weeks have been different is because before I would be at the gym or engaging in some form of exercise at least five times a week. Especially the first four months of the year leading up to graduation because the gym was “free”/included in the insanely high tuition and was close by. I’d be up at 6:30 A.M and would have some awesome workouts. I felt my biceps getting firmer and just had overall better days. Mornings are my favorite time to workout despite the intense love and affection I have for my bed. Even during the chilly mornings I could layer up and endure the short (and freezing) car rides to the gym but without a gym is a different story. The idea of waking up at 6:30 A.M and running outside pains me. I just caught a chill thinking about it. Besides the cold, there’s the fact that I don’t really want to run around my neighborhood. It’s 60% a self conscious thing with all the cars driving by watching me trot around and the other 40% is that there’s nowhere really to go around my neighborhood. These aren’t good reasons to not workout though but these excuses definitely triumphed the reasons why I should be going to workout.
I guess you can conclude that these past two weeks have been different due to the lack of high heart rates and endorphin releasing. I’ve been crazy tired these past two weeks. My eight-hour work shifts seem to be draining me of any energy I have making me quiet and easily irritated in the evenings. But the long work shifts aren’t new. What’s new is the absence of exercise in my daily routine. Working out in the mornings didn’t tire me out even if I woke up at the crack of dawn, they did the opposite. They jump-started my day like cables on a car’s dead battery. Exercising in the mornings was part of my morning routine. Though it wasn’t always consistent, when I did get even a 30 minute elliptical workout in, I felt like I was doing my part to be my best self for the people I’d encounter that day. My job involves a lot of customer service. A lot of smiles, small talk, concern, and care. I’m a genuine person when working in customer service. I usually do care about the customer’s day or their experience at the store. But I found that in these two weeks without those cables to jumpstart my dead battery in the morning, these smiles and cares began to feel fake.
I don’t know my next step. Do I commit to a gym? Do I push myself harder to utilize the outdoors as a gym? I’m not quite sure. Listening to your body is so important. During dark times where I didn’t know how to show compassion towards myself, I made myself go to the gym like some sort of punishment. If I didn’t go, then I was worthless. The gym was a chore for so many days and mornings when I really just needed to lay in bed an extra hour or read instead of sweating. Although I felt like I was listening to my body these past two weeks, it resulted in only a few workouts and left me feeling so tired that I felt ill.
Have an favorite at home workouts that work for you? A youtube channel or app that motivates you? E-mail me at email@example.com or message me on Instagram @balanceandbolus